5 Gentle Ways to Support Yourself Following a Bereavement
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
When someone close to us dies, we experience the most severe form of loss in our lives. Losing someone important to us can be emotionally devastating - whether that be a partner, family member, friend, or pet. It is natural to go through a range of physical and emotional processes as we gradually come to terms with the loss. This is a natural and normal process that may take some considerable time to get through. Bereavement affects everyone in different ways, and it's possible to experience any range of emotions. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Don’t try to rush yourself through the process or to “move on” quickly. Take the time you need to feel what you’re feeling and be kind and gentle with yourself.
2. Look after Your Body
It's easy to neglect your physical health when you're emotionally drained, but try eating regular meals and staying hydrated, as this can help you maintain energy and mental clarity. Try to incorporate foods that nourish both your body and soul. This may be a comfort food from childhood, or something light and easy if you don’t feel like cooking. Try and rest your mind and body. Grief can make sleep difficult, but it’s vital for emotional and physical healing. If you're struggling to sleep, try creating a relaxing bedtime routine, such as a warm bath, reading or watching your favourite TV show before bed. You may prefer to listen to calming music, use meditation, or have a weighted blanket to help you feel secure.
3. Create Space for Quiet Reflection or Creativity
You may find it comforting to honour your loved one in small, quiet ways, such as lighting a candle or taking a walk in a place they loved, to honour your feelings and the memories you have. It can be comforting to express your emotions creatively, using writing or painting, or keeping a journal. Many clients of mine find that writing a letter to their lost one, or creating poetry, are effective, therapeutic outlets to express feelings that can be hard to articulate.
4. Be Kind to Yourself
Grief can stir up feelings of guilt or self-blame, but it’s important to remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can in an incredibly tough situation. Let yourself have moments of peace, joy, and lightness without feeling guilty about it. Focus on what you need in the moment, and don't feel guilty about engaging in activities that you enjoy and taking that time for yourself.
5. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to go through this alone; there is help out there. Whether it's talking to a friend, family member, or therapist, sharing your feelings can be really healing. If you’re not ready to talk yet, that's fine too, as just knowing that there’s someone you can reach out to might be comforting. It is also okay to seek professional support if you’re finding it difficult to cope. Professional therapy can provide a safe, confidential space to help you process your emotions and all that you are going through.